I'm not crazy, but I might be crazy

Honestly, I'm just not sure if I am or not. Some days I feel very crazy. But today as I was driving in a car full of loud, wild and singing kids my mind ventured somewhere else. And out of the blue I said to myself, "I'm just crazy enough to believe that You can restore what I have ruined." Obviously, I was talking to God. And for a moment peace flooded my soul. I would have to be crazy to believe that God will restore it. Why? He didn't ruin it. I did.

If you have read my past posts then you may already be ready to throw in the towel on my blog because of the amount of times that I use the word ruined. I started to apologize for it but then I deleted it because I am not sorry. That is just where I am right now. In the after-math. And quite frankly, for sometime now I have doubted that God would fix what I have broken. Because I felt like I made those choices on my own, he isn't obligated to fix it.

But then I thought about my kids. And time after time I go behind them and fix things that they have messed up, because I love them. Sometimes I don't fix it right away because they need to pay the consequences. Sometimes I may make them work along side me to fix it. And other times I see the heartache and true remorse for their actions so I am swift to fix it for them. I'm pretty sure God is falling somewhere between the first 2 in my situation. LOL

So what do I do in the in between. Continue to trust God and believe that He will restore. I obey Him and do what I feel like He is asking me to do. A very wise woman has told me many times, "do the next right thing" and that is what I am going to do. I will not worry about a year from now or even next month. I will do what I am suppose to do today, right now, and trust that God will give me strength for the rest.